♥ Sunday, February 24, 2008♥

A very short story.......
Presented by Edith

Back stage,

Chubbs: How are we gonna present it?
Beng: Eh, dunno leh, dunno leh.
E³: How can say dunno? Oh my tians. We are so gonna be late.
Faye: YEAH! Eh, Snowman dont stand there and slack please!
Snowman: ....
Lamer: Eh, 您的女朋友, 您的Faye是这里leh!
Lamre: Ya lor, neh say HI one! (laughs in gay tone)
Snowman: 闭嘴!
Lamer and Lamre: ...
Beng: Snowman boss la. Cannot liddat one, right Scarecrow Jon?
Scarecrow Jon: Yeah la.
Chubbs: Oi, give ideas leh.
Edith: Lets present it on stage as the cuckoo dance! Everyone dances except me! (evil laughter)
Everybody: What the FFF!!!
Edith: Hehe, since i am the creator of the blog...
E³ and Faye: OI, US TOO!
Edith: Yeah they dont need to dance too. Esp Lamer and Lamre gotta do the best of the best parts....(enjoying the idea)
Everyone else(except Lamer & Lamre): AAAHHHHHH........

On stage,
(note: play the Youtube song below before you start reading this section for more enjoyment....)
Edith: (plays the barbie girl in barbie world song)
Snowman, Scarecrow Jon, Beng and Chubbs: (wearing a three piece suit each and wearing a blad wig)
Lamre: (wearing a dress with sparkly jewels)
Lamer: (appears wearing coconot bikini and skirt which look like leaves joined together)
Snowman: (grabs the microphone) HI THERE BARBIE! (act retard)
Lamre: (in his gayest voice) HI KEN!
Snowman: (shakes his head) WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?
Lamer: (high pitched) SURE KEN!~
Snowman:(with accent) SURE CAN!!
Lamre and Lamer: (scream simultaneously and jump around bouncing their oranges and coconuts and hug Snowman)
.....................................................................................

The rest of the song makes it up to the reader's imagination, that makes it better eh? Think of them acting in the video, and make it MORE WILLDDD!!!






PLAY THIS TOGETHER!!!! =]]]]

Edith, Faye, E³

♥ Thursday, February 14, 2008♥

VALENTINE DAY"S SPECIAL...


Blob's house...

'Oh, today is Valentine's day, and i need to have a date with Snowman!,'thought Blob, as she woke up to a new day and was looking out of the window. 'What a nice day, perhaps Snowman shall accept me! I heard he became somehow more handsome!' blushed Blob and her fat cheeks turned into a shade of pink.
'SHHEEENNNNAA!' called Blob to her maid.
'YES MAM'?' shouted Sheena back to her mistress, and hurried to her room.
'I want you to prepare me a dress, and be sure to send a message to Snowman telling him to meet me for our valentine's dinner.' she said.
'Ah Missy,' said Sheena cheekingly. 'Dating with Snowman? I heard from Chubbs, Beng and Scarecrow Jon that he became somehow more irresistable, since he went for an operation to become handsome.
'Quiet you!' snapped Blob. But inside she was thinking,'Oh Snowman! My prince charming! I shall come to you tonight, ah and how i hear the birds chirping to me this morning that you would my man! HOw i long to see you Snowman! And you shall come to my arms when i reach out to you and you would catch me in your loving arms, oh, what warmth im feeling, oh, how comfortable your firm arm is....'
'Missy?' queried Sheena as she thought her mistress was a little weird, staring into the open air and cuddling her pillow in her arm(as if it were Snowman?).
'embrace me,'Blob continued imagining. 'Make my day for me, propose to me! Oh, and i want the HELLO KITTY plush toy, so pink so...'
'MISSY!' shouted Sheena, waking Blob a little from her dreams.
'What? APA?' asked Blob.
'MISSY what happened to you?' asked Sheena, thinking that Blob went into a trance and was possessed by a demon.
'Apa?' asked Blob again, as she didnt understand what Sheena was trying to say as Blob hadnt awakend fully yet.
Sheena was just beginning to get afraid. What happened if her missy was possessed? She had no one else to hire her and her little brother would starve!
Sheena started shaking her all over till Blob's boobs started to wobble too, and poured water into Blob's clothes, as her religion believed that pouring water into clothes can drive spirits away.
'WAAAAHHHHH!' screamed Blob as she jumped out of her bed, dripping wet.
'Are you alright now?' asked Sheena, feeling a little worried.
'OF COURSE NOT? LOOK AT ME? IM SO WET AND AAAHHHHH!'she screamed as her clothes were wet. She sent Sheena off angrily to go and give Snowman the valentine's message.
RING!
The doorbell rung. Sheena came to open it. Chubbs was at the door.
Sheena asked,'Yes? Message for Missy?'
'Yeah. Boss said he wanna Miss Blob to go for the Valentine's date he's got for her.' said Chubbs.
Hehe, Sheena neednt go to Snowman's house to deliver the message, and that saved her the trouble. And this is good news, because this showed that Snowman still cared for his Blob, and even sent a messenger earlier than Blob herself.
'Yes. Missy wanted to make a date too with Mr Snowman. But seems like you came first!' replied Sheena.
'Ah, right. You've got the message. Then i'll go now.' said Chubbs.
Sheena closed the door.



Dinner time...

'Ooh, Snowman hasnt come yet!' thought Blob as she waited patiently at her table.
'Hello Blob!' said Snowman shyly as he came toward the table.
Blob was shocked! 'What happened to you Snowman?' asked Blob.
'Simi?' asked Snowman.
Blob was terribly shocked by his appearance. His fat state, the fat arms, the fat face, the fat body, the fat legs, and most of all , the fat tummy, seemed to have disappeared? Now she will not have the fat arms to run into and let the warmth of the fat arms warm her heart, she didnt have the fat arms to let her link her fat arms into. He did not have the fat body that she could hug. Now with this thin thing, what comfort and warmth, and most importantly, fats, can she concide into? This wasnt the Snowman that she was looking forward to! What is this thing, why is it so thin? Blob didnt like it. SHE DIDNT LIKE IT AT ALL.
'Snowman,'she begun. 'Sorry but i would like to break up.'
'Simi?' asked Snowman. He was rather in a surprised state. Today is Valentine's Day, what is she talking about?
'I dont know why but i would just want to break up with you. I dont seem to know why.' said Blob. Truely she did not know how to explain in words, how to tell Snowman about this? Blob thinks that Snowman will not know how to take it.
'Why BLob? I tell you that i want you to marry me soon. I've got the rings. I know it. And i will make it true this time. I will not allow my men to interrupt any more weddings,' promised Snowman.
'What?' shouted Blob, 'this means that all the other weddings we had, you didnt tell your men to not interrupt it? Oh, once i hear this confession i become more and more depressed.'
Blob took her hand bag and stormed out of the restaurant.
Snowman lost all hope and slumped down into his chair. He regretted for wanting to staple his stomach and to suck out his fats, His fats were good luck you know. They got him a girlfriend and this BLob was the one that he managed to learn and respect. There wasnt any more girls out there that would compensate for Blob.
He wanted to die. Losing Blob was losing his own life. He wanted to take his own life.
'Oi Snowman!' shouted Botakk from afar, and then walking in his digusting style with the arms outstreched and nodding his head like some chicken.
Snowman was too tired and depressed to reply.
'YOu lost Blob is it? Aiyah she so fat and ugly and brown. Even got one housefly eyesight got problem thought she was a piece of chocolate and keep flying around her. She no use one la.' Botakk told Snowman.
'SHUDDUP!' Snowman bellowed and stormed away to commit suicide...

On top a building...
Snowman was extremely upset, he just wanted to die, but he could not die. How could Blob say such things to him? It was rather unnatural, and he seemed not to know that. He didnt know that in real life, in reality, perhaps, Blob would not do that. With a peabrain of his, or maybe he didnt have any brians(whats in the head of a snowman? SNOW! Haha), he thought that Blob had actually dumped him.
When he stepped up upon the ledge, he told himself, Hey here, Snowman, this is the time when you got decieved, and you gotta take action, here is what can happen....
Snowman faced the open scenery outward, in just any minute, if he takes an extra step, he would likely take the plunge!
'Snowman?' asked Blob, shaking an unconsiouces Snowman.
Snowman jumps, hes falling, at the same time he felt like melting, and melting , he was gonna die when......
WHAM!
A furious Blob had somehow slapped his back. 'Arent you gonna wake up? You asked me out and your're just sleeping here?' said Blob. She seemed ANGRY.
'Wha? Simi?' asked a half consious Snowman.
Blob was just too delighted to hear this voice. Hey, her Snowmans back to reality!
Snowman questioned why Blob was there and where was Botakk, after hearing Blob's story of how he found himself asleep. Blob was curious and decided to know Snowman's story, the one with Bottak in it. Snowman described it as 'ridiculous' because he said he would bash Botakk and damage his defendless head as he wouldnt believe that Blob was not that bad(he wasnt much of a peabrain after all). This caused Blob to feel so touched that she cried. Snowman took chance of
this opportunity and hugged and kissed her.



~~FIN!~~




Awww, what an end to the Valentines special....

Edith, Faye, E³

♥ Tuesday, February 12, 2008♥

Still in the Operation Room,


Snowman is resting from the very strenous operation of giving birth to the fats. Although from the previous point where we left off (as told by Edith), Snowman was alive, healthy and strong (doctor was carrying snowman and swinging him around like in love stories), it is sad to know that he 'died' (fainted) again as soon as the Doctor put him down. (actually the Doctor more like swung him off!)


Everyone looks at the fallen Snowman. Beng is enraged and rushes to the doctor, grabs him the the neck of his shirt and boldly lifts him up saying, "You ______________! (censored for viewership) What have you done to my Snowman!?! If he in trouble, lao pei wont left you off. Lao pei going to bash you up now!"
Beng raises and fist and prepares to punch the terrified doctor. The Doctor, cowering, attempts to save his own life. (It is heard that Beng's punches can kill..) "No! No! It is not like that! Mr Snowman is mei shi one! He too tired from operation! No! No! Don't punch!"
Chubbs places a hand on Beng's shoulder. "Ya la. Should listen to Doctor say first. If later Snowman got problem, still can hantam him mah.."
Beng casts a suspicious eye on the trembling doctor and throws him onto the floor. "You better take care of Snowman, tiao wu bo?!" They leave, the Doctor picks himself quickly off the floor and instructs someone to wheel Snowman to the resting room.





Inside the toilet outside the resting room,




"HOOOOOOOOOOOI!!!!!!!!!!" screams Tiao Wu Bo. "您给我回来i!!!!!!!!!" The girl leaving the toilet stops and looks at her in fear.
"Nah, 现在我根您讲ah!
(in hokkien) The water very hard to carry you know! We workers work very hard carry up and down for you because toilet water system not working! Now you all anyhow waste the water ah! You think i work very easy is it!! Why use so much water!" Tiao Wu Bo rants in a quick breath.
The girl who don't understand Hokkien stares blankly at her.
"TIAO WU BO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ting dao le mei you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Tiao Wu Bo.
The petrified girls nod quickyl and flees the toilet.
Tiao Wu Bo walks to the cubicle the girl has occupied. The walls shake from Tiao Wu Bo's terrifying roar of anger.
"MO GAO CHO!!! (cantonese, an exclamation)
Da bian zhe me da, yong shui dang rang chong bu diao la! Ta pao qu na li, wo yao jiao ta hui lai ba da bian diu jing la ji tong!!!!!" Tiao Wu Bo drops her mop and rushes out in search of the girl.





In the resting room,





Snowman's fingers move. Faye, Edith and E who are watching Snowman and has heard the entire ruckus from the toilet, raise amused eyebrowns.

E³: So, i think Zhang Fei's coming soon right?
Faye: Hmmm i think so la! Eh Edith, how long?
Edith: *Checks watch* Oh! 2 minutes, faster faster, qu kan hao si!

Edith, Faye, E³

♥ Monday, February 11, 2008♥

At the hospital...



'Come on down and sit here, Mr Snowman,' called Doctor as he pointed to an inclined chair next to him.
Snowman obdiently sat down without a word. Chubbs, Beng and Scarecrow Jon were wringing their hands. They were worried that the succulation will not be successful again. Everytime Doctor tried to suck Snowman's fats, they just wouldnt come out because it was too big!
'Now, Mr Snowman, i would like you to be a little less tense, and relax on the chair. I am going to start the succulation soon,' said Doctor and smiled at Snowman.
Snowman was grabbing the handrests tightly as he too was afriad of the succulation. Snowman was just about to run away from Doctor, who was holding the dangerous looking object to suck fats nearer and nearer to him, when Scarecrow Jon started to play the song, 'where did my little doggie go'. Chubbs and Beng started acting like dogs to please Snowman. Snowman was immeadiately reminded of the cute little doggie Blob possessed and instantly closed his eyes to relax.
'WHHRRRRR!!!' started the fat-sucking machine and was inserted into Snowman.
'Oh No!' screamed Doctor.
'What is it?' chorued Beng, Chubbs and Scarecrow Jon, with anxiety in their tone of speech.
'Am i dying?' asked Snowman weakly, thinking that he would die.
'No, you arent, but...' said Doctor.
Interrupting Doctor, Snowman's voice became stronger because he was happy that he wasnt dying, and asked,'Then what is it?'
'I think Mr Snowman, you need to go for an operation,' replied Doctor, with a stern look upon his face.
'OOOPPPPPPPPPP?' screamed Snowman weakly and 'died'(but actually he fainted).
'WE NEED TO GET HIM TO THE OPERATION ROOM IMMEDIATELY!!!' shouted Doctor.
'ARRGH!' shouted Chubbs, Beng and Scarecrow Jon, pushing the bed to the Operation Room like mad dogs and pushing everybody out of the way.
'I love you Snowman, Da ying wo men ni bu si.' wept Beng,holding his hand while he was wheeled into the room. But no reply came from the 'dead'(fainted) Snowman.

Operation Room,


Doctor took a zapper and zapped Snowman awake. Snowman bolted out of the bed and became alive.
'Mr Snowman, you promise me that you are gonna push hard,' said Doctor seriously.
'Huh? Simi?' asked Snowman wearily, who just woke up from the 'dead'(fainted) state.
'You are gonna give birth to that piece of fats. No wonder I have always tried to suck fats uncessfully. I has lumped together and formed slighty above your tummy. I am gonna need you to push it to your tummy there, so that i can suck it out at that time, is it all right, Mr Snowman?'asked Doctor.
'Eh, sure sure,' he said, rather surprisingly.



The process...


'PUSHHH,PPUUSSSSHHH!!' screamed Chubbs and company and Doctor.
'Ah, cannot make it, want to die liao,' cried Snowman.
'PUUSSSHH! WANT TO COME OUT ALREADY!' Chubbs and company and the Doctor shouted.
'Cannot la, blood loss! BLOOD LOSS!' Snowman cried.
'Its fats loss only, no blood one. PUSH!' encouraged Beng.
'WAHH! The fats reach the tummy already! I gonna suck it out now! ONE! TWO! THRREEE!!' shouted Doctor, with the fat-sucking machine at hand.
POOF!
The lump of fats came out and Snowman became surprisingly slimmer.
'DOC! I LUP EUU VEH MUSSH! cried Snowman and running to Doctor in slow motion and then Doctor carried Snowman in the air and started swinging Snowman round and round like in those love stories.






Somewhere watching....
E³: I think thats crazy mans! Oh my Tian!
Faye: Yeah. Snowman finally got carried!
Edith: Oh my God! Certainly a very dramatic story for Snowman and his slimming...

Edith, Faye, E³

♥ Friday, February 1, 2008♥

In another part of Malitown:

Wo De Tian is on the bus. Sitting in front of her is Beng.

Wo De Tian: "Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?"
Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma... yes I want!"

Beng happily munches peanuts. About 20 minutes down the road, Wo De Tian asked Beng again.

Grandma: "Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?"
Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma ... yes I want!"

To make the story short, this goes on for a few more times then Beng finally asks Wo De Tian,
Beng: "Ah ma ah ... you dont eat peanuts one meh?"
Wo De Tian: "No... no eat! Ah ma boh teeth la!"
Beng: "Aiks! Boh teeth then why ah ma buy peanuts leh?"
Wo De Tian: "No choice leh! Just now that 7-11 is out of chocolate so ah ma kena buy this peanut chocolate lor! Ah ma lick the chocolate around the peanut and the peanut give you eat lor!"

Beng stares at Wo De Tian in horror, spits the peanuts out and flees the bus at the next stop. Wo De Tian sits on the bus, chuckling to herself. She was alway known for her mental illness. Poor Beng.

Edith, Faye, E³

♥ Wednesday, January 30, 2008♥

In the little church...

Snowman awaits at the end of the aisle, looking toward his bride, walking slowly down the aisle, with tears trickling down her face. This is the best day of my life, thought Blob. Slowly walking in front of her was Sheena, her bridesmaid. As she walked, the church organ, played by Edith, was emmiting the familiar song of "WEDDING MARCH", by Mendelsson. There, near Snowman was Scarecrow Jon, in a smart black suit with a flower on his suit.
The friends and relatives of Snowman and Blob, were sitting quietly on their respective sides. Snowman's friends and relatives on one side and Blob's friends and relatives on the other. But Faye was on Snowman's side, and she sat on that side, watching Edith play the church organ.
When Blob reached the front, Snowman took her hand and the priest started his preaching. Edith retired from the piano and took a seat next to Faye.
After a while, the priest turned to them and told them to exchange rings. Blob looked at Snowman in excitement. He took a ring and slipped it into her's fat finger. And in turn, she took his rather humongous finger and with slight difficulty, put it on.
Then the priest announced,'I shall pronounce you man and...."
"STOP!" screamed a voice, and bursting into the church door came Chubbs followed by Beng.
"STOP! The doctor says you cant Snowman!" wailed Chubbs.
"Cant what lah?" answered Snowman dissatisfically.
"Walau, the doctor said you cant marry." stated Beng.
"Why leh?"asked Snowman.
"The doctor says your high cholesterol is very high now. Due to your excess of fats present in the body, you need to go for suculation, which will suck your fats and cholesterol out. Please, you have an appointment today with the doctor. You need to get back into hospital. You arent supposed to run away from the hospital to get married. And you there Scarecrow Jon. You helped him get out of hospital, so you're in for investigation. It's crime to get a sick man out of hospital."said Chubbs.
"Huh?"mumbled Scarecrow Jon.
"I said you need to be investigated" repeated Chubbs.
"Huh?"asked Scarecrow Jon again, giving a very bleard look.
"... Uh, nevermind."said Chubbs waving his hand at Scarecrow Jon.
"Come quick, get back now!" shouted Beng.
"Dont want la, dont want!" replied Snowman, kicking his fat legs in the air, and hoping to get away from Beng and Chubbs. Seeing the hard effort being done to pull Snowman back to the hospital, Scarecrow Jon joined into the tug-of-war game and all the three of them managed to pull Snowman back to the hospital.
Blob looked on sadly. Snowman said that he would marry her. And even though how many times he said it and how many times the marriage took place, the priest never said the word "wife" before. So being tremendously mad, she called upon Sheena to beat up the priest. So, Sheena took her bundle of flowers and stuffed them into the priest's mouth, making him shut up. Then Blob used her fat body to pounce the priest by jumping on him.
All the relatives and friends of Snowman and Blob left. They werent surprised at the barging in of Snowman's men. They instead shook their heads and left.
Faye and Edith were the only ones left in the church, not including the beaten up priest, a smoking Blob and a wild Sheena, screaming away and stuffing flowers into his mouth.
Faye asked Edith,"Hey, isnt it tiring?"
"Sure it is, i think i played the song for Snowman and Blob twice this week already?"answered Edith.

Edith, Faye, E³